it was 50 degrees here yesterday - today it is -1 with the wind chill.
our garage door was frozen shut this morning
D2 brought the trash cans AND recycle bins in without being asked.
I don't have a clue who to vote for.
I have to go to the dentist tomorrow for a crown and 2 filing replacements.
being an electrician is not my calling.
i want new countertops in the kitchen and new carpet in the family room.
the biggest loser motivates me until weds evening :)
i think i'll build a fire and have a beer!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
gayelle
Driving to work today, we made the news. We, as in us "lesbians". The local radio station said that lesbians don't like that label any more. They said the new term we want to be called is "gayelle". Gay as in "gay" and elle as in "she". Now here in the bubble, we are somewhat remote, so I was totally unaware of this new term. I can't find the source of the info either... if I do, I'll let you know.
In other news, a study printed in USA today, says 44 is the worst age, the age where the probability of depression peaks. Finding myself at this age, I read on. It seems to be the answer to all my problems. "Middle age makes you miserable, so don't blame your job, your kids, your spouse, your income or lack of it, suggests a study of 2 million people from 80 nations released today." They go on to say it is completely normal and should go away in a couple years...
Psheeew! I thought it was all this bigotry with me being a "gayelle"...
In other news, a study printed in USA today, says 44 is the worst age, the age where the probability of depression peaks. Finding myself at this age, I read on. It seems to be the answer to all my problems. "Middle age makes you miserable, so don't blame your job, your kids, your spouse, your income or lack of it, suggests a study of 2 million people from 80 nations released today." They go on to say it is completely normal and should go away in a couple years...
Psheeew! I thought it was all this bigotry with me being a "gayelle"...
Monday, January 28, 2008
what is a mother to do?
A few of the RSG (recovering straight girl) blogs out there have been addressing the issue of coming out. obviously being an RSG, means that you are coming out later in life and this is to your family - parents and/or children. I am often envious when I read those blogs because most, if not all of them have children, many of them are younger, not too many with older kids. Their outing seemed to be behind them, and they have support from their kids and parents. My story is a bit different.
My parents consist of my Mom. My Dad died in 1983. She never remarried (that is a whole other blog) and she currently lives in South Carolina. I had inklings of who I was throughout my young life, but never really given the option of dating a girl, I never really gave it much credence. I had thoughts, feelings and wonderings, but never thought I could do something about them. That was the environment I lived in. My Mom loved my X and I never let her in on my personal life with him. I did what I was expected to do (marry and reproduce) and just was... When I met TBW, I know she knew there was more to it than friendship. Mothers just know. She let it slide. She, like everyone else around me couldn't understand how I could leave "the good life" and try it on my own. I didn't want to tell her because I knew she wouldn't accept it. You just stayed married. That is what she did. She found out by telling my story to the nurse while she was in the hospital. The nurse told her I was gay. I have never met that nurse. She denied my relationship and who I was the first year of my divorce. I wrote her a very long letter that took me many hours to write. She threw it away, unopened. In the year or so, she has come to terms with who I am. It hasn't been easy and for sure she doesn't still completely understand me. But, she does try, and she does accept TBW as my partner.
When I came out, my daughters were 7, 10 and 13. I didn't really come out in the best way - not that given my circumstance there would be a good way. Being they were all in different stages of development, telling them was in different ways. Long story short, my oldest had the most problem. It was all the gossip in our bubble. The bubble-ites love some good gossip. So the down side was things her friend's parents said and made up that hurt her. I understood that and we dealt with it accordingly. That is why we didn't have a grand opening of coming out - so to speak. She had her own issues as far as her friends, school and sports were concerned. She wanted to start fresh, in the town I grew up, at a much smaller high school. I was so proud of her for doing that. This is the town the X practices in, so getting her there isn't a problem. She is thriving there.
But then we have the X. He is very homophobic. He has family to back it. They love to gossip and they love to be the type of "christians" who judge others and get the juicy story. They think I suck, am an awful mother to do this to her children, and that I am just making my girls' life miserable. I have always wanted to work for the best interest of the girls. To never make them a victim of parent's fighting for their love out of guilt or making them choose A or B. That is what he said he wanted too.
The problem is, D1 is living with him and his new wife in that town. Their values and "ways" are rubbing off on her. That with the fact she has her own suv, credit card and no curfew make me look not so good.
I am having a hard time with it all. Why are people so bigoted? We are not weird, derranged or immoral. I don't care about the X - he has been that way since I've known him. I am scared D1 is going to be too much like him. Sometimes we put ourselves in such a pristine bubble, it sucks to live in it. I just want to love my wonderful partner and give my girls the best I can. Sometimes it just seems there are too many things going against me in achieving that. I won't give up though, but sometimes I sure do get beaten down.
My parents consist of my Mom. My Dad died in 1983. She never remarried (that is a whole other blog) and she currently lives in South Carolina. I had inklings of who I was throughout my young life, but never really given the option of dating a girl, I never really gave it much credence. I had thoughts, feelings and wonderings, but never thought I could do something about them. That was the environment I lived in. My Mom loved my X and I never let her in on my personal life with him. I did what I was expected to do (marry and reproduce) and just was... When I met TBW, I know she knew there was more to it than friendship. Mothers just know. She let it slide. She, like everyone else around me couldn't understand how I could leave "the good life" and try it on my own. I didn't want to tell her because I knew she wouldn't accept it. You just stayed married. That is what she did. She found out by telling my story to the nurse while she was in the hospital. The nurse told her I was gay. I have never met that nurse. She denied my relationship and who I was the first year of my divorce. I wrote her a very long letter that took me many hours to write. She threw it away, unopened. In the year or so, she has come to terms with who I am. It hasn't been easy and for sure she doesn't still completely understand me. But, she does try, and she does accept TBW as my partner.
When I came out, my daughters were 7, 10 and 13. I didn't really come out in the best way - not that given my circumstance there would be a good way. Being they were all in different stages of development, telling them was in different ways. Long story short, my oldest had the most problem. It was all the gossip in our bubble. The bubble-ites love some good gossip. So the down side was things her friend's parents said and made up that hurt her. I understood that and we dealt with it accordingly. That is why we didn't have a grand opening of coming out - so to speak. She had her own issues as far as her friends, school and sports were concerned. She wanted to start fresh, in the town I grew up, at a much smaller high school. I was so proud of her for doing that. This is the town the X practices in, so getting her there isn't a problem. She is thriving there.
But then we have the X. He is very homophobic. He has family to back it. They love to gossip and they love to be the type of "christians" who judge others and get the juicy story. They think I suck, am an awful mother to do this to her children, and that I am just making my girls' life miserable. I have always wanted to work for the best interest of the girls. To never make them a victim of parent's fighting for their love out of guilt or making them choose A or B. That is what he said he wanted too.
The problem is, D1 is living with him and his new wife in that town. Their values and "ways" are rubbing off on her. That with the fact she has her own suv, credit card and no curfew make me look not so good.
I am having a hard time with it all. Why are people so bigoted? We are not weird, derranged or immoral. I don't care about the X - he has been that way since I've known him. I am scared D1 is going to be too much like him. Sometimes we put ourselves in such a pristine bubble, it sucks to live in it. I just want to love my wonderful partner and give my girls the best I can. Sometimes it just seems there are too many things going against me in achieving that. I won't give up though, but sometimes I sure do get beaten down.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
long weekend
it has been an exceptionally stressful weekend. I have a lot to be grateful for, and a lot of room for improvment. in my world it sucks, relative to having a terminal illness, or the mess our country is in - it doesn't. We are going to veg on the couch. I am drained, I have a lot to capture, and I will sometime soon... Mama said there would be weekends like these... She wasn't lyin'.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The best thing in my life...
TBW is without a doubt the best thing in my life. I don't deserve her, but I am so happy I have her... I am wondering where my brain has been... It appears I didn't make my car payment last month. There appears to be a small pile of bills that I "lost". Now I don't know where I put them. I don't know where they are now... She called and acted like me, paid the bill over the phone and got the late fee taken off :) We got them all resolved. Together.
She puts things in perspective.
She believes in me.
She takes care of me.
She loves me unconditionally.
She always listens (whether I am ranting, just talking, or being silly)
She makes sure I take my medicine.
She always scratches my back...
Oh yeah, and she is hot!
She puts things in perspective.
She believes in me.
She takes care of me.
She loves me unconditionally.
She always listens (whether I am ranting, just talking, or being silly)
She makes sure I take my medicine.
She always scratches my back...
Oh yeah, and she is hot!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
10 reasons why this day sucks!
1. traffic sucked this morning because we got 1/4 of an inch of snow... some people go 80 and the others go 20. this works well - NOT!
2. I emailed the company I work for and asked why my vacation time said -22 when I had 37 hours of vacation coming to me.
Answer - vacation doesn't roll over. Bite me!
3. I had to go to the dentist. I haven't been since my last crown/root canal. Guess what? Yepper, another tooth needs a crown - and most likely - another root canal. Bite me again!!!!
4. I made soup for dinner, it has been in the crock pot simmering and it looks yucky - bet it tastes like crap too! Don't bite that!
5. I misplaced a bill that is due soon, can't find it... Now I have to go pay it in person... That is if I can find the statement from last month to get the account number...
6. The CD/DVD writer on our computer won't write CDs or DVDs, but will play them... HP is aware of that, but the computer is JUST out of warranty... bite me again!!!
7. TBW called about getting an invisible collar thing for the puppy... They have puppy packages starting at $489... Just the collar - oh that will be $289! Gotta love the bubble's requirement for fences.
8. It is cold, and dreary, and cloudy and wet outside... To be colder, drearier and cloudier tomorrow... Not so much wet.
9. My Mom can barely breathe, is doing poorly and I can't do a thing for her. She lives many miles away. I wish I could make her feel better. I wish we could visit her more often.
10. Aunt Flo came to visit and I am pretty sure she is here with a vengance!
I guess things could be a lot worse - so I'll quit my bitching. I'm gonna put on my big girl panties (cause lord knows that is all that fits) and deal with it.
2. I emailed the company I work for and asked why my vacation time said -22 when I had 37 hours of vacation coming to me.
Answer - vacation doesn't roll over. Bite me!
3. I had to go to the dentist. I haven't been since my last crown/root canal. Guess what? Yepper, another tooth needs a crown - and most likely - another root canal. Bite me again!!!!
4. I made soup for dinner, it has been in the crock pot simmering and it looks yucky - bet it tastes like crap too! Don't bite that!
5. I misplaced a bill that is due soon, can't find it... Now I have to go pay it in person... That is if I can find the statement from last month to get the account number...
6. The CD/DVD writer on our computer won't write CDs or DVDs, but will play them... HP is aware of that, but the computer is JUST out of warranty... bite me again!!!
7. TBW called about getting an invisible collar thing for the puppy... They have puppy packages starting at $489... Just the collar - oh that will be $289! Gotta love the bubble's requirement for fences.
8. It is cold, and dreary, and cloudy and wet outside... To be colder, drearier and cloudier tomorrow... Not so much wet.
9. My Mom can barely breathe, is doing poorly and I can't do a thing for her. She lives many miles away. I wish I could make her feel better. I wish we could visit her more often.
10. Aunt Flo came to visit and I am pretty sure she is here with a vengance!
I guess things could be a lot worse - so I'll quit my bitching. I'm gonna put on my big girl panties (cause lord knows that is all that fits) and deal with it.
Friday, January 18, 2008
AACK!!!
Since they have banned all fun stuff from the internet now at work, I thought I would peruse an actual news sight... This is from presidential hopeful Mr. Huckabee (on cnn.com)...
"I think the radical view is to say that we're going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal," he said in the interview, published on the Web site Wednesday. "Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again."
then it says...
Huckabee has previously come under fire for past comments on homosexuality. In his 1998 book "Kids Who Kill," the onetime Baptist minister seemed to link homosexuality with sexually deviant and criminal behavior.
"It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations — from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia," he wrote.
Wow... let's try to focus here folks.
"I think the radical view is to say that we're going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal," he said in the interview, published on the Web site Wednesday. "Again, once we change the definition, the door is open to change it again."
then it says...
Huckabee has previously come under fire for past comments on homosexuality. In his 1998 book "Kids Who Kill," the onetime Baptist minister seemed to link homosexuality with sexually deviant and criminal behavior.
"It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations — from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia," he wrote.
Wow... let's try to focus here folks.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Help Wanted:
I haven't really done my resume in years. Like about 22 to be exact... I need to do it and I just don't want to. I am sure the format and content have changed since I last did one! Why can't they just call me up and we'll sit down over coffee and discuss my great work abilitites? I can't even remember what I did at my last job. How much detail do I need to include? Yuck. It was boring work... Then I have to try to spice it up and make it sound so "corporate". Or maybe that isn't the trend anymore either. Wish I was more tech-y, those peeps can just put in key words that managers look for, but don't really understand. They can't ask questions about it because - they don't understand... There is a job that I want to go for, so I guess I had better get moving. I think I'll take Ellie on a walk and clear my mind. I am sure it will write itself while I am gone...
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
home again, home again, jiggity jig
Well, the journey to Denver was fun and full of activity. Of course the cold that TBW had New Year's and I got the week later, fell upon D2 hard Friday night. I'll talk more about that later.
Thursday night, we flew into Denver and J met us at the airport. We went to her apartment that she shares with 3 other girls and got settled in. It is perfect for them, they all have their own bedroom and only two have to share a bath. We got ready and Mr. Perfect came over to drive us to dinner. We went to an Italian place and met his parents there. It was a great evening and we enjoyed getting to know all of them. I must say they make a cute couple and they seem to even each other out.
Friday we slept in and headed to downtown Denver to do some shopping. D2 had money to burn, and she did! It was a fun time. We came back so J could get ready to cheer. Her beauty maintenance is very hefty - but it shows in the final product. I guess I could take a lesson or two... She dropped us off at a sports bar place so we could eat and wait until the game began. She was able to get us three tickets - good thing because we checked and the cheapest was about $120. The game was a lot of fun. We enjoyed seeing her cheer. D2 started going down hill fast with the cold, so we met a few of the other cheerleaders and then headed back home.
Saturday, D2 was crying because it hurt to breathe. The cold, along with flying, the new altitude, was really kicking her. She was miserable. So off to urgent care we went. This put our departure time for the mountain later than we wanted. But, what could we do? We got her prescriptions filled and we were off. Mr. Perfect drove us. The drive was beautiful. You drive through this tunnel and then on the other side it was all snowy white. We checked into our hotel and D2 went right to bed. The four of us went to dinner and had a great time. We stopped at the grocery and picked up some chicken and rice soup for D2 and some beer for Mr. Perfect and myself. We stayed up late talking.
Sunday morning was slow. Mr. P was doing a photo shoot of J. TBW couldn't ski because of her wrist, and D2 was obviously down for the count. She wasn't feeling too well, so I didn't feel right leaving her to go ski. So, we went on the photo shoot, ate a great lunch and shopped. D2 laid down in the car for the shopping part. We left the mountain in the early evening.
Next time, I am definately staying longer in the mountains. I think we will stay there the whole time, and Mr. P and J can come to us. It was so beautiful, the air was crisp, but warmer than here. The snow was beautiful and the people there so friendly. All I can say is, I want more!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Calgon take me away!!! To Denver.
CALGON!!!!
I am getting grouchy and it is time to vent. All things said are the result of a rant, therefore I am not responsible for punctuation, grammar or - why not - its content...
1. A 13 year old who thinks she is in control and is driving me nuts.
If you don't see things her way - you are just weird...
- her schedule is THE schedule, work yours around it.
- her room is her "space" - the clothes on the floor (including, socks in a ball, inside out, bras, undies, etc), the laptop on its side charging on the floor, her shoes, coat, bookbag, various christmas presents (in boxes and out), half filled water bottles, cell phone charger, comforter on floor, sheet somewhere at the bottom of the bed, candy wrappers and clean clothes strewn and folded in the hampers (returned from the laundry room) - is all acceptable and "why does it bother you?"
- she is going to her Dad's tonight because he got them all "High Sch00l Mus1cal on Ice" tickets for tonight. Never mind she has not packed one stitch of clothing for Denver, and that he will be there at 3:30 to pick her up. Not to mention that I told her over and over that was going to be what was happening and that she needs pack her things for Denver. (I know, I know!)
- her bed time is 10:00. BUT... according to her I don't understand that she CAN'T get to sleep, she lays awake for hours, and that she doesn't NEED all that sleep. Yet, in the morning, it takes me walking in her room to wake her up, then yelling up to her to get down to eat breakfast. Then, after she eats, she sets four different alarms to get her up to make the bus. She doesn't see anything wrong with this system.
- our conversation last night in the car on the way to basketball.
D2 - Last Friday, Mrs. Scienceteacher told us that we should do the review questions in our science book for our science midterm for review.
She said it was voluntary, but it would be helpful with our review. Then today she said that since we probably had them finished already, that we would have to hand them in tomorrow.
That sucks. I never do those questions because they are a waste of time.
Me - That would be the first thing I would do, if she said it was going to be useful for the exam.
D2 - Yeah I know, you are a goodie-two-shoes. So are B and A (her friends). They were already finished with them. I asked D if I could use her notecards because she told me she was getting C's on her tests lately. I hate studying from note cards.
Trying to understand her logic...
Me - Why wouldn't you use B or A's notecards instead of D's? If notecards don't work for you, then I would be happy to work with you on another way to study. You could always type them into a file on your laptop, organize it and print it out for a study guide.
D2 - I don't need to do all that, I'll just stick with her note cards.
There was more said, but you get the gist...
- TBW and I are on the computer, trying to find someplace to stay near the ski resort, TBW is on the phone, D2 yells, "Mom!" to which I answer quietly - "Just a minute". She gets off the couch, sees what we are doing, says, "Mom!". I hold my finger up, (like just a minute), she walks over to where we are, says, "Mom". I said what... She asks if I will cut an apple for her, and looks apalled that we can't talk on the phone and listen to her at the same time. Like that was some URGENT problem that warranted her interrupting. We are just so lame... (I am sure if I bothered her while she was on the phone, she would be so understanding and calm)
THEN...
We spend hours upon hours looking at places to stay where we are going skiing. Now by skiing, I mean just me. TBW went to the doc for her wrist, it is only 60% healed and he said she could ski, but she is afraid to - which I totally understand. D2 - doesn't want to ski - she would if she had a friend there, and she HAS to study (kinda ironic when we put so much emphasis on it above :)) TBW's D1 doesn't want to ski because she wants to spend time with TBW - and she can do it whenever she wants. So, that leaves her boyfriend (aka - Mr.Perfect - model, avid skier and total hot dude (according to D1)) I haven't even met the guy and they want me to ski with him - I'll be lucky to make it down a bunny hill - he is probably mogul man... I don't think so. So, Ihave resigned myself to skiing alone. I am independent now - so I can do it and I am looking forward to it. Really, I am...
But as usual I digress about the search for a place to stay. There are millions of places to stay. Most require a 3 night stay. All of them are expensive. Where do people get this money??? We found a perfect place, plenty of room, not reasonable, but we could do it - then they add 10.75% in tax and a $100 cleaning fee. We aren't that dirty people and it is one night! To top that off - they require an additional $500 check which they will hold, not cash until the cleaning people (those are probably the people who CAN afford to stay there at that rate) verify that we didn't trash the place. Blah, blah, blah - the search continues with various text messages to D1 - all resulting in a big fat - we have no place to stay.
So... now TBW is stressed, worried that things aren't planned, and upset that we are picking D2 up from her Dad's, instead of him bringing her back to our house. We have to take the puppy to D3... The dogs... the kids... the lodging... (I keep seeing that calgon commercial) I know it will all work out, but good grief Charlie Brown...
Why is it so complicted? It is called vacation after all...
I am getting grouchy and it is time to vent. All things said are the result of a rant, therefore I am not responsible for punctuation, grammar or - why not - its content...
1. A 13 year old who thinks she is in control and is driving me nuts.
If you don't see things her way - you are just weird...
- her schedule is THE schedule, work yours around it.
- her room is her "space" - the clothes on the floor (including, socks in a ball, inside out, bras, undies, etc), the laptop on its side charging on the floor, her shoes, coat, bookbag, various christmas presents (in boxes and out), half filled water bottles, cell phone charger, comforter on floor, sheet somewhere at the bottom of the bed, candy wrappers and clean clothes strewn and folded in the hampers (returned from the laundry room) - is all acceptable and "why does it bother you?"
- she is going to her Dad's tonight because he got them all "High Sch00l Mus1cal on Ice" tickets for tonight. Never mind she has not packed one stitch of clothing for Denver, and that he will be there at 3:30 to pick her up. Not to mention that I told her over and over that was going to be what was happening and that she needs pack her things for Denver. (I know, I know!)
- her bed time is 10:00. BUT... according to her I don't understand that she CAN'T get to sleep, she lays awake for hours, and that she doesn't NEED all that sleep. Yet, in the morning, it takes me walking in her room to wake her up, then yelling up to her to get down to eat breakfast. Then, after she eats, she sets four different alarms to get her up to make the bus. She doesn't see anything wrong with this system.
- our conversation last night in the car on the way to basketball.
D2 - Last Friday, Mrs. Scienceteacher told us that we should do the review questions in our science book for our science midterm for review.
She said it was voluntary, but it would be helpful with our review. Then today she said that since we probably had them finished already, that we would have to hand them in tomorrow.
That sucks. I never do those questions because they are a waste of time.
Me - That would be the first thing I would do, if she said it was going to be useful for the exam.
D2 - Yeah I know, you are a goodie-two-shoes. So are B and A (her friends). They were already finished with them. I asked D if I could use her notecards because she told me she was getting C's on her tests lately. I hate studying from note cards.
Trying to understand her logic...
Me - Why wouldn't you use B or A's notecards instead of D's? If notecards don't work for you, then I would be happy to work with you on another way to study. You could always type them into a file on your laptop, organize it and print it out for a study guide.
D2 - I don't need to do all that, I'll just stick with her note cards.
There was more said, but you get the gist...
- TBW and I are on the computer, trying to find someplace to stay near the ski resort, TBW is on the phone, D2 yells, "Mom!" to which I answer quietly - "Just a minute". She gets off the couch, sees what we are doing, says, "Mom!". I hold my finger up, (like just a minute), she walks over to where we are, says, "Mom". I said what... She asks if I will cut an apple for her, and looks apalled that we can't talk on the phone and listen to her at the same time. Like that was some URGENT problem that warranted her interrupting. We are just so lame... (I am sure if I bothered her while she was on the phone, she would be so understanding and calm)
THEN...
We spend hours upon hours looking at places to stay where we are going skiing. Now by skiing, I mean just me. TBW went to the doc for her wrist, it is only 60% healed and he said she could ski, but she is afraid to - which I totally understand. D2 - doesn't want to ski - she would if she had a friend there, and she HAS to study (kinda ironic when we put so much emphasis on it above :)) TBW's D1 doesn't want to ski because she wants to spend time with TBW - and she can do it whenever she wants. So, that leaves her boyfriend (aka - Mr.Perfect - model, avid skier and total hot dude (according to D1)) I haven't even met the guy and they want me to ski with him - I'll be lucky to make it down a bunny hill - he is probably mogul man... I don't think so. So, Ihave resigned myself to skiing alone. I am independent now - so I can do it and I am looking forward to it. Really, I am...
But as usual I digress about the search for a place to stay. There are millions of places to stay. Most require a 3 night stay. All of them are expensive. Where do people get this money??? We found a perfect place, plenty of room, not reasonable, but we could do it - then they add 10.75% in tax and a $100 cleaning fee. We aren't that dirty people and it is one night! To top that off - they require an additional $500 check which they will hold, not cash until the cleaning people (those are probably the people who CAN afford to stay there at that rate) verify that we didn't trash the place. Blah, blah, blah - the search continues with various text messages to D1 - all resulting in a big fat - we have no place to stay.
So... now TBW is stressed, worried that things aren't planned, and upset that we are picking D2 up from her Dad's, instead of him bringing her back to our house. We have to take the puppy to D3... The dogs... the kids... the lodging... (I keep seeing that calgon commercial) I know it will all work out, but good grief Charlie Brown...
Why is it so complicted? It is called vacation after all...
Monday, January 7, 2008
Monday's ramblings...
TBW is at the dentist right now getting her tooth fixed. She is like me - I'd rather go to any other kind of doctor, other than the dentist. There is something about that big tray of tools that don't look to friendly. That along with the prodding and poking - not fun. I've always hated going. My childhood dentist was a little old man and his "technician" was his wife. She looked like Wilma Flintsone with grey hair. She also doubled as the receptionist. When I moved to "the bubble" I had to have all my filings re-done. Had all 10 done at once. That was a treat. Oh well - I hope TBW is faring okay.
It is warm here in the bubble today. I saw two convertibles with their tops down on the way home from work. That might be pushing it a little - but I am ready for another freeze, so the mud in the yard and flower beds freeze and the paw prints are cut back a little. I think Elliott is well on his way to China in the front bed. I am sure the neighbors love the Griswalds on the corner. Tonight the Bucks play for the championship. Sure hope we do better than we did last year. Go Bucks! TBW will be rooting for LSU - she is mot much of a bubble participant.
My Mom is having trouble breathing today. I wish I could go over and get her her dinner and take care of her for a bit. That is the hard part of living so far away. I am sure my sister will stop over - but she has three kids and husband to take care of herself - and she loves the Bucks too - so she won't be able to stay for long.
We had a great weekend. They just go by so quickly. We had a great dinner with friends on Friday night at one of my favorite hometown places. We were loud and laughing - just like I like it. One girl I hadn't seen since high school, she looks exactly the same. D2 did a great job babysitting - even got paid. Saturday was basketball game after basketball game. All lost - but they all played well. Sunday was the most wonderful day - we didn't get out of our "jammies" all day. We took down the tree and watched football and the last Harry P movie. Love, love, love those days.
3 days to Denver...
It is warm here in the bubble today. I saw two convertibles with their tops down on the way home from work. That might be pushing it a little - but I am ready for another freeze, so the mud in the yard and flower beds freeze and the paw prints are cut back a little. I think Elliott is well on his way to China in the front bed. I am sure the neighbors love the Griswalds on the corner. Tonight the Bucks play for the championship. Sure hope we do better than we did last year. Go Bucks! TBW will be rooting for LSU - she is mot much of a bubble participant.
My Mom is having trouble breathing today. I wish I could go over and get her her dinner and take care of her for a bit. That is the hard part of living so far away. I am sure my sister will stop over - but she has three kids and husband to take care of herself - and she loves the Bucks too - so she won't be able to stay for long.
We had a great weekend. They just go by so quickly. We had a great dinner with friends on Friday night at one of my favorite hometown places. We were loud and laughing - just like I like it. One girl I hadn't seen since high school, she looks exactly the same. D2 did a great job babysitting - even got paid. Saturday was basketball game after basketball game. All lost - but they all played well. Sunday was the most wonderful day - we didn't get out of our "jammies" all day. We took down the tree and watched football and the last Harry P movie. Love, love, love those days.
3 days to Denver...
Friday, January 4, 2008
Time to change...
Last night, after picking up D2 from basketball practice we were pulling into the driveway, I reminded her that she was babysitting tonight while TBW and I went to dinner. We are meeting friends and she is in charge of all the little kids. She asked what time we would be leaving and I told her we had to stop at her Dad's office to pick up D3. She said, "She is coming!!?" To which I said, "Yes, it is Friday night, we always have her on Friday night." She said some kind of 13 year old comment, which I couldn't really decipher and slammed the car door and stomped inside, up to her room. TBW was inside tending to the fire and asked what was the matter, and I said I honestly didn't know.
As I sat working on the puzzle after dinner. TBW was outside talking to the neighbor who is going through some personal problems, D2 was in her room doing her homework, and I got to thinking about how times have changed since I was a kid. If I had ever acted the way D2 did when she got out of the car, I wouldn't be going to basketball the next day. Which got me to thinking about our evening rituals growing up as a kid. Our kitchen was small, the table was attached to the wall, and we had four "mod" chairs - they were hard plastic, funky in design and orange and white. The kitchen sink was in the corner of the room with double windows above it. My Mom could see my Dad pull up and she would always make him a bourbon and seven, ready to hand him as he walked in. He would put his car keys, change and wallet on "the tray" as we called it. It always sat on the counter, near the fridge, with various tid bits in it (mostly coins, nails, etc). My friends were always amazed that it sat out in the open and no one touched it. I remember on Saturday mornings, his wallet would not be able to fold over because of his poker winnings from the night before. But I digress... After he had his drink, we would sit down to dinner. My plate was "special". It was a blue plastic plate with Cinderalla's castle on it from Disneyland. We never went there, so I don't know where it came from, but I used it each night. After dinner, my Dad would do the dishes (no dishwasher) and I would take my bath and finish my homework. I loved sitting at my desk to get things done. My sister on the other hand - never sat at a desk - I don't even remember where she did her homework. When it was warm outside, and it wasn't dark, we always played outside as long as we could. No scheduled play dates. Whomever showed up played whatever game we felt like playing. We just rode our bikes until we found someone outside. We knew when it grew dark, it was time to go home.
TBW's childhood was similar to mine in some regards. Her Dad was 53 when she was born. Her Mom stayed at home, they had one car for the family. She walked home from school each day for lunch, and her Dad came home too. They had their "dinner" at lunch and their supper was a lighter meal in the evening. Her Dad had a beer before dinner and a shot of brandy before bed. She also played outside until it was dark.
So, many years later, with attitude abundant from D2, we slip into our nightly routine. Our nights are usually filled with driving someone somewhere at a set time. We have so many "scheduled" events there is little time for spontanious activities. It isn't bad - just different. I wonder what it will be like for our kids children. It will be fun to see.
As I was taking TBW to work this morning, she said, "I just want to be able to breath (the cold), a tooth (she lost the filling), my arm (gets the cast off next Tues) and my car (hopefully getting fixed today) and to sit on the couch with you and just veg." Sometimes we just get so busy we just need some down time. Time to be together. Our parents made that time every day before dinner. Kids didn't interrupt (a. it was boring, b. we had better things to do) and we respected their schedule. I think it is time for change... But I fear I am too late.
As I sat working on the puzzle after dinner. TBW was outside talking to the neighbor who is going through some personal problems, D2 was in her room doing her homework, and I got to thinking about how times have changed since I was a kid. If I had ever acted the way D2 did when she got out of the car, I wouldn't be going to basketball the next day. Which got me to thinking about our evening rituals growing up as a kid. Our kitchen was small, the table was attached to the wall, and we had four "mod" chairs - they were hard plastic, funky in design and orange and white. The kitchen sink was in the corner of the room with double windows above it. My Mom could see my Dad pull up and she would always make him a bourbon and seven, ready to hand him as he walked in. He would put his car keys, change and wallet on "the tray" as we called it. It always sat on the counter, near the fridge, with various tid bits in it (mostly coins, nails, etc). My friends were always amazed that it sat out in the open and no one touched it. I remember on Saturday mornings, his wallet would not be able to fold over because of his poker winnings from the night before. But I digress... After he had his drink, we would sit down to dinner. My plate was "special". It was a blue plastic plate with Cinderalla's castle on it from Disneyland. We never went there, so I don't know where it came from, but I used it each night. After dinner, my Dad would do the dishes (no dishwasher) and I would take my bath and finish my homework. I loved sitting at my desk to get things done. My sister on the other hand - never sat at a desk - I don't even remember where she did her homework. When it was warm outside, and it wasn't dark, we always played outside as long as we could. No scheduled play dates. Whomever showed up played whatever game we felt like playing. We just rode our bikes until we found someone outside. We knew when it grew dark, it was time to go home.
TBW's childhood was similar to mine in some regards. Her Dad was 53 when she was born. Her Mom stayed at home, they had one car for the family. She walked home from school each day for lunch, and her Dad came home too. They had their "dinner" at lunch and their supper was a lighter meal in the evening. Her Dad had a beer before dinner and a shot of brandy before bed. She also played outside until it was dark.
So, many years later, with attitude abundant from D2, we slip into our nightly routine. Our nights are usually filled with driving someone somewhere at a set time. We have so many "scheduled" events there is little time for spontanious activities. It isn't bad - just different. I wonder what it will be like for our kids children. It will be fun to see.
As I was taking TBW to work this morning, she said, "I just want to be able to breath (the cold), a tooth (she lost the filling), my arm (gets the cast off next Tues) and my car (hopefully getting fixed today) and to sit on the couch with you and just veg." Sometimes we just get so busy we just need some down time. Time to be together. Our parents made that time every day before dinner. Kids didn't interrupt (a. it was boring, b. we had better things to do) and we respected their schedule. I think it is time for change... But I fear I am too late.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Back to it...
TBW's car is going to be towed tomorrow and hopefully get fixed. Our friend David, who takes care of the boys during the day, has been keeping them overnight, so that it is one less thing for us to worry about in the morning. They just came over for a visit. Elanor was so excited to see them. They play fight non-stop forever - I wish I had their energy.
We are getting back into the routine of things after the holidays. All girls are back in school, practices have started up again and getting up at 5:45 is once again a pain in the rear. At least tomorrow is Friday. D2 has a brand new laptop from her Dad, so my computer is free in the evenings now. Now the trouble is she can be in the internet and IM non-stop and she will seldom emerge from her room.
We are supposed to meet friends for dinner and drinks tomorrow night. They just called and said we were meeting at their house. Now I love the kids - but my idea of a night out isn't in someone's living room with all the kids coming in and out - monitoring the converstion and number of beers I have. We'll see. TBW says were staying here if that is the plan. Go TBW!!!
I love it that tomorrow is Friday. I could get used to a three day work week. Gonna have to move out of the bubble to achieve that status. Oh well, until then, let's just enjoy what we have. Here's to hopin' TBWs car can be fixed and were back to the normal boring grind next week...
We are getting back into the routine of things after the holidays. All girls are back in school, practices have started up again and getting up at 5:45 is once again a pain in the rear. At least tomorrow is Friday. D2 has a brand new laptop from her Dad, so my computer is free in the evenings now. Now the trouble is she can be in the internet and IM non-stop and she will seldom emerge from her room.
We are supposed to meet friends for dinner and drinks tomorrow night. They just called and said we were meeting at their house. Now I love the kids - but my idea of a night out isn't in someone's living room with all the kids coming in and out - monitoring the converstion and number of beers I have. We'll see. TBW says were staying here if that is the plan. Go TBW!!!
I love it that tomorrow is Friday. I could get used to a three day work week. Gonna have to move out of the bubble to achieve that status. Oh well, until then, let's just enjoy what we have. Here's to hopin' TBWs car can be fixed and were back to the normal boring grind next week...
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
resolutions
It is the new year and time for resolutions... TBW has a cold that has her dead on her feet - yet she trods on. We have been watching a lot of football, movies and TLC this past weekend. I am ready to buy all the stuff they are pushing - that "amazing putty" that can do anything and you get "6" tubes instead of 2. Then there is the smoking cessation magnet you can put on your ear... All amazingly guaranteed... ha.
On top of the cold, and the broken wrist, TBW lost a filling at D1's basketball game and then her car wouldn't start (after we bought a new battery). She says December sucks... She has a dental appointment on Monday and a car appointment on Saturday. Hopefully her cast comes off on Tuesday - so maybe we'll be better in January! I am sure going to Denver to see her D1 will help out a lot.
The girls have been with their Dad since Saturday evening after D1's basketball game. Our precious "alone time" has come and gone. School starts again tomorrow. Life will be as it was - our "wild times" will have to be put on hold once again... he he. TBW was telling me the other day that I am too cautious. Gone are the times of sneaking things in even though the girls are in the house. I admit it - I get too spastic. I guess I take her for granted. Although we laugh about it and she tells me the bloom is off the rose - I know it really bothers her. I need to loosen up. I really do loves me some TBW action.
So, what are my goals for 2008?
1. To not take TBW for granted and give her some sneaky lovin! Make her feel the way she is in my heart. I love her forever and need to show her each and every day!!!
2. To enjoy my kids and not worry so much about them adjusting and/or accepting things and let them be part of our family - with me being their mom.
3. Exercise. Get in shape. Exercise...
4. Do my resume... Possibly look for a new job.
5. Update my ipod (i know it sounds silly - but I have been meaning to do it two computers ago!)
6. Backup our computers
7. Just enjoy my life - getting to be with my other half, have my kids and be thankful for all that we have!
Happy New Year!!!
On top of the cold, and the broken wrist, TBW lost a filling at D1's basketball game and then her car wouldn't start (after we bought a new battery). She says December sucks... She has a dental appointment on Monday and a car appointment on Saturday. Hopefully her cast comes off on Tuesday - so maybe we'll be better in January! I am sure going to Denver to see her D1 will help out a lot.
The girls have been with their Dad since Saturday evening after D1's basketball game. Our precious "alone time" has come and gone. School starts again tomorrow. Life will be as it was - our "wild times" will have to be put on hold once again... he he. TBW was telling me the other day that I am too cautious. Gone are the times of sneaking things in even though the girls are in the house. I admit it - I get too spastic. I guess I take her for granted. Although we laugh about it and she tells me the bloom is off the rose - I know it really bothers her. I need to loosen up. I really do loves me some TBW action.
So, what are my goals for 2008?
1. To not take TBW for granted and give her some sneaky lovin! Make her feel the way she is in my heart. I love her forever and need to show her each and every day!!!
2. To enjoy my kids and not worry so much about them adjusting and/or accepting things and let them be part of our family - with me being their mom.
3. Exercise. Get in shape. Exercise...
4. Do my resume... Possibly look for a new job.
5. Update my ipod (i know it sounds silly - but I have been meaning to do it two computers ago!)
6. Backup our computers
7. Just enjoy my life - getting to be with my other half, have my kids and be thankful for all that we have!
Happy New Year!!!
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