Time to change...

Last night, after picking up D2 from basketball practice we were pulling into the driveway, I reminded her that she was babysitting tonight while TBW and I went to dinner. We are meeting friends and she is in charge of all the little kids. She asked what time we would be leaving and I told her we had to stop at her Dad's office to pick up D3. She said, "She is coming!!?" To which I said, "Yes, it is Friday night, we always have her on Friday night." She said some kind of 13 year old comment, which I couldn't really decipher and slammed the car door and stomped inside, up to her room. TBW was inside tending to the fire and asked what was the matter, and I said I honestly didn't know.

As I sat working on the puzzle after dinner. TBW was outside talking to the neighbor who is going through some personal problems, D2 was in her room doing her homework, and I got to thinking about how times have changed since I was a kid. If I had ever acted the way D2 did when she got out of the car, I wouldn't be going to basketball the next day. Which got me to thinking about our evening rituals growing up as a kid. Our kitchen was small, the table was attached to the wall, and we had four "mod" chairs - they were hard plastic, funky in design and orange and white. The kitchen sink was in the corner of the room with double windows above it. My Mom could see my Dad pull up and she would always make him a bourbon and seven, ready to hand him as he walked in. He would put his car keys, change and wallet on "the tray" as we called it. It always sat on the counter, near the fridge, with various tid bits in it (mostly coins, nails, etc). My friends were always amazed that it sat out in the open and no one touched it. I remember on Saturday mornings, his wallet would not be able to fold over because of his poker winnings from the night before. But I digress... After he had his drink, we would sit down to dinner. My plate was "special". It was a blue plastic plate with Cinderalla's castle on it from Disneyland. We never went there, so I don't know where it came from, but I used it each night. After dinner, my Dad would do the dishes (no dishwasher) and I would take my bath and finish my homework. I loved sitting at my desk to get things done. My sister on the other hand - never sat at a desk - I don't even remember where she did her homework. When it was warm outside, and it wasn't dark, we always played outside as long as we could. No scheduled play dates. Whomever showed up played whatever game we felt like playing. We just rode our bikes until we found someone outside. We knew when it grew dark, it was time to go home.

TBW's childhood was similar to mine in some regards. Her Dad was 53 when she was born. Her Mom stayed at home, they had one car for the family. She walked home from school each day for lunch, and her Dad came home too. They had their "dinner" at lunch and their supper was a lighter meal in the evening. Her Dad had a beer before dinner and a shot of brandy before bed. She also played outside until it was dark.

So, many years later, with attitude abundant from D2, we slip into our nightly routine. Our nights are usually filled with driving someone somewhere at a set time. We have so many "scheduled" events there is little time for spontanious activities. It isn't bad - just different. I wonder what it will be like for our kids children. It will be fun to see.

As I was taking TBW to work this morning, she said, "I just want to be able to breath (the cold), a tooth (she lost the filling), my arm (gets the cast off next Tues) and my car (hopefully getting fixed today) and to sit on the couch with you and just veg." Sometimes we just get so busy we just need some down time. Time to be together. Our parents made that time every day before dinner. Kids didn't interrupt (a. it was boring, b. we had better things to do) and we respected their schedule. I think it is time for change... But I fear I am too late.